My Heart Hurts

reed has a urinary tract infection and his back and shoulders have really been hurting him for the last couple days. he's constantly in pain and i can tell, but when i ask how he's doing, he always says, "i'm ok, don't worry" and then puts on a smile. that's the great thing about reed. nothing ever seems to go his way and let's face it: he doesn't live the life most of us would want to have. but, regardless of his situation, he is always happy and he wants others to be happy. even with all of his pain, he still manages to joke around with me and talk to me and he even asks how i'm feeling. i wish i could take away his pain. my heart hurts for him.

378 FE7

when i get married, my husband will be doing all of the registry work. today, i vowed to never enter another RMV, not ever. over the last couple weeks i've come near unto suicidal while trying to get my car registered. however, today was successful! there were tears and bloodshed but it was worth it. why? because my license plate has two 7's on it!

...sorry that this is the most entertaining thing i have to post about this week. also, thanks to ken who pretty much did all the work. love you.

One Down, One To Go

waiting for a missionary is like waiting in line to go to the bathroom. you start in the back and think there is NO way you're ever going to make it in time. you're going to wet your pants right there. that's how bad you have to go. but you're confident in yourself. you can do hard things! you move up a spot and you feel like the line is going so slow but you put on a nice face and pretend that you're ok. but then, after a while, you've moved up a couple spots and you find you're actually enjoying yourself. you've made a couple friends in the line and the lady walking out with her shirt tucked in her underwear was pretty amusing. you get distracted and you don't feel the weight of your bladder that's ready to explode. then, you realize you're half-way there! that's pretty good. you don't think about it too hard though, cause actually, half-way is really only half-way. but! if you made it this far, you can make it the rest of the way. which is why, today, i celebrate the fact that i have not yet wet my pants.

this is my missionary!

he's been gone exactly one year and i'm feeling pretty good about that. i'm at the point where i'm feeling pretty relaxed but really happy that the wait is already half over. i'm thinking the rest of the wait will also be akin to waiting in line for the bathroom. i'll feel all relaxed for a little while longer but start to slowly get really anxious. and then, as soon as i start making my way towards the stall i'm gonna start kinda skipping. and everyone knows that as soon as you shut the door to the stall, you just can't hold still. it's coming and there's no stopping it. you're just hoping and praying you make it to the toilet with dry pants. and then... you finally sit down and let it all out! no more worrying. at this point, you've never felt better. you zip up your pants proudly, walk out smiling and it feels like it never even happened. yep! that's my analogy that i just made up. enjoy it.

i really love this guy, which is why i'm waiting for him. he's pretty amazing and is doing an awesome job at being a missionary. i couldn't ask for a better friend. he has a strong testimony and is encouraging me to be better. even if he got back and we hated each other (not likely), i'd be happy (sort of) because waiting for him has helped me grow in a lot of ways and i've been able to see him grow and become a better person. i'm not really sure that that part of waiting can really be compared to the whole waiting in line thing but maybe i'll think of something later.

anyway, i love him and i'm really excited for this day to be here! here's hoping the next year is even better! moon and back, baby!

it's actually the best day of my life. why, you ask? because of my new baby. i just might marry it.

one hundred and sixty three dollars later and i'm the happiest girl alive! i just can't wait to drive somewhere! thanks, Dad!

Lessons Learned

every night is a struggle for me. should i go to sleep? or should i stay awake? it seems like there's no compromise: if i sleep i'll have a better day, but if i stay awake i know i'll hear reed if he needs me. during my prayers the other day i realized that the only way i could be successful was with Heavenly Father's help. previously, i had been praying that i would be able to hear reed during the night but this night i decided to change my prayer a little. i asked to have faith that Heavenly Father would make everything work. that i would know that He's looking over reed and He'll keep him safe. all i have to do is trust that if reed needs me, Heavenly Father will direct me in what to do.

when i was six, my dad took me on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at disneyland and he even let me drive! i was really happy to drive until we went through a tunnel and i couldn't see. i thought that we were going to crash. dad told me not to worry, we would be alright. again, i was afraid of the dark. but, maybe that's the point. Heavenly Father knows it's dark and scary but He wants us to trust Him. we have to be willing to say "ok, even though i'm afraid of that, i'll do it, because i know you'll help me". we have to walk a little into the dark, out of our comfort zone, into the unknown, and trust that Heavenly Father is directing us.

every night i have to put my faith in Him and believe that if i need to, He'll help me wake up because He is watching over me. but then i was thinking that it's bigger than that. sometimes i feel like i don't know where my life is going or what lies ahead but i have to believe that He knows the path in front of me even when it looks dark to me. i made it through the tunnel in Mr. Toad's Wild Road and i'll make it through any other dark tunnels He sends me through.

i guess that's just what i was thinking about this week so i thought i'd share it..

take note that i was not the only child who was scarred by Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

T

I have this really great friend, Katy. T for short. she's like one of my best friends and i talk to her every day. we talk to each other because we don't have other friends. and because we love each other. let's just make a list of the top ten great things about T.

one: she is always online to talk to me

two: she has the funniest jokes

three: she has really great hair

four: she's so giving and thoughtful

five: she amso smart

six: her life is almost as entertaining as Hannah Montana

seven: she has a shirt with horses on it

eight: she has strange urges to act like a girl

nine: she is going to move to boston...what?

ten: she's totally hott!!

there are a lot of other really great things about her. she's really humble and would never say all these things about herself but i wanted the world to know how wonderful she is. she makes me better every day. she's so great that there's really only one bad thing about her... she watches the bachlorette. other than that, i think we were made for each other.