Would you like to hear the pathetic story of the century? Ok, I'll tell you.
Two days ago Reed's nurse gave Reed a big pile of tiny bags of chips. I love chips. I love them. Reed is really a nice guy and so obviously he was willing to share his chips with me while we were eating our lunch. But later.. when read was asleep I wanted some more chips. I didn't want to wake him up to ask him for more and I knew he wouldn't mind so I just took some. I took the cheesy Doritos because there were still two packets left--so thoughtful.
Well, Reed really likes chips too. When he woke up the first thing he shouted (it wasn't actually a shout but he sounded angry) was "hey! did you eat my bag of chips??"
"NO!" I replied. "It must have been your mom. She didn't get dinner. Are you sure you had another bag? Maybe you're just imagining things..."
It was just like that Brian Regan moment where I could hear the words coming out and my brain was screaming for me to shut up and tell the truth but my mouth just kept moving and there was nothing I could do. Reed was still confused. He has a super brain and he can remember everything perfectly. He knew there was another bag of chips before. He also really likes to be right so he was bound and determined to figure out what happened to the bag of chips. Meanwhile, I was just shutting up in the corner and letting my guilty conscience swallow me up. It was horrible. So horrible that I haven't been able to sleep. I felt so ashamed when I would say my prayers and I had been lying to Reed about the Doritos--those delicious Doritos.
So, last night when I went down to help Reed, I promised myself I would tell him the truth about his precious chips. It was horrible. I was so embarrassed. He just laughed of course. He didn't care about the chips at all. I knew that. I just couldn't get it off my mind! How could someone trust me if I couldn't even be honest about a stupid bag of chips?! So, we're friends now--my conscience and I, I mean. Repentance is a wonderful gift.
Anyway, the main thing that was like "Ahah!" for me was that I finally figured out this quote. "It's easier to keep commandments 100% of the time than it is to keep them 98% of the time" by Elder Christensen. My ward has been really focusing on this lately and I was kind of confused about it. But now I get it. It would just be easier for me to tell Reed that I ate his chips and be honest than be honest about some things and lie about others.
Curse my parents for teaching me not to lie. (by "curse" I mean "bless" but man, if only I didn't have to have that embarrassing moment)
Moral: Liars get their pants on fire. Amen.