Sunday, July 11, 2010

MassaBOOsetts

so i decided i would go to the singles ward today and try to make some friends. i've been lonely. the problem is that there are like four singles wards in Massachusetts and they all happen to be an hour a way. so i just picked one in Cambridge and put it into map quest. so i leave so i could be there just in time so i wouldn't have to try to make small talk with the bishop or anything like that. i always feel awkward. so i get to the street that i'm supposed to be on and the paper says the church should be on the right so i drive up and down the street for like ten minutes which is hard to do because like every other street is a one way street and you can't make u-turns. so anyway, i can't find it anywhere so i decide i'll park and walk and see if i can find it but it turns out that the only parking left on the street is like four blocks from the address. so i'm walking down this cobble stone sidewalk in heels, not a good combination, and i finally see it and i'm frustrated because the sign like blends into the brick on the church and there are fences all around it. it's under construction. turns out it burned to the ground not too long ago. but there are lights on inside and it's almost finished and there are lots of cars parked outside so i'm walking around the church looking for a little pathway or something so i can get inside and i'm looking in the cars to see if i can find any like mormon paraphernalia... i dunno. anyway, i can't find an entrance so i decide i'll just spend sometime looking around. there were a lot of cool old buildings with little historical signs outside of them. i even found a statue of Longfellow, who i had to Google haha. i did actually know who he was but i just wanted to make sure. so anyway, i'm walking around, enjoying the scenery and for some reason, all the other touristy people think that i know something. they're all asking me how to get places and if i've seen some sort of building or know where something is. weird. and then, all of a sudden, i see two missionaries drive by and they turned right by the church so i watched them to see where they go and i can only see them turn one corner but i figured it was worth a shot so i run to my car (barefoot, of course, i dropped the heels a while back) and hurry back to the street they were on (i made an illegal u-turn on a one way street but they'll never know). i didn't find it. i found nothing. but by this point, i was really lost and going back wasn't going to get me anywhere so i decide to find someone to help me (i forgot to print instructions on how to get back home... smart, i know). so i find this little supermarket that smells like the sewer and ask the service desk if they can tell me how to get back to route 2 cause that's how i got here but they don't know anything so they spend twenty minutes getting their computer to work and finally print me directions. after i leave, i realize the instructions take me on the toll road. i don't want to go on the toll road. so i go back in and find this manager guy who also smells like the sewer only mixed with cigarette smell and he's telling me all these things in such a thick boston accent that i really have no clue what he's saying. so he writes it down for me but he scribbled out half of the things he wrote and long story short, they got me no where. except to watertown. but i think that just happened by a miracle. so i still don't know where i am so i pull into the Best Buy there and ask the service desk for some help and the ridiculous girl tries to sell me a GPS!!!! agh i wanted to scream at her. i don't want to buy a GPS! i want to get directions to get home! so then there are like three people who work there plus two people in the line behind me all telling me different ways to get home and i don't even know what they're saying because i don't even know where i am and finally i hear someone say "20 main" and i know that that road goes straight into Northborough so i'm way excited and i tell them to just get me onto 20. the directions they gave me were weird and told me to get off of 20 and then get back on like four miles later but i didn't listen, i just stayed on 20 the whole time and eventually made it back. so, if you ever want to know how to get home from Cambridge, don't ask me, or the people at the Stars market. but, if you want to know how to get home from Watertown, i'm your girl. don't even bother stopping in at the Best Buy cause they'll just make you buy a GPS. besides not actually going to church, which was the worst part of all of it, i only had one church cd in my car and i listened to it seven times. yep, seven times. one good part was that i got to see the boston temple! just from the freeway but it still made me happy.

and now, a rant about driving in Massachusetts:

nothing makes sense.
what's with only putting the street signs of streets you could turn onto but not the street you're on? sometimes, i kinda wanna know where i am.
don't you know you already have enough trees? we don't need the trees coming clear out to the street so that we can't see the street signs. so annoying!
why are the street lights way over on the side of the road? why can't they be in the middle where we can see them like everywhere else in the world?
it would help if you could have a street number instead of "lexington" for a street name. did you know there is a "lexington" in EVERY SINGLE town in new england!? freak!
it might be a little more convenient if the sign that tells you which turn takes you where was before the turn actually comes. we need to be prepared, people.
also, why can't a road be going north and then continue to go north? why do you have to make it turn all the way around and then turn back the direction you want it to. not only that but you may have to make a turn to make sure you stay on the right road. what?
and why can't the road have the same name the entire time that it's still a road? what is the point of changing the name of it? did we really need another Lexiongton?
and lastly, what on earth makes people think they can stop in the middle of the road!!???? you can't! you'll kill someone.

so yep, that was my sunday. can you tell i really felt the Spirit? yikes...

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA I really quite enjoyed that little story. It makes me laugh because not everyone grew up in a state where a prophet planned out the street system. Also I don't know of anywhere but Utah that uses a number/grid system or a directional North South East West type system. Unless I am going towards the beach I have no idea what direction I am headed. The worst is when the street names are similar. Try living in southern CA where every other street starts with Rancho, Camino or some other spanish word haha. My surrouding street names in my neighborhood:Springhurst, Springbrook,Springmeadow,Sabre Springs....just in the neighborhood over there is a Rancho Bernardo Road, Drive, Boulevard and Way. Woot. I definitely feel your pain haha Love you Hay!

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